Polygamy has been going on for thousands of years, and recently the West has pointed to Saudi Arabia and Islam to show examples of polygamy. They make the claim that it is not fair for women. However, it happens in the United States by mostly non-Muslims, except they don't call it polygamy, they call it "mistresses" and "cheating on spouse."
Polygamy is only allowed in Islam if the man can be fair to his wives, and if he is financially capable of supporting them all. He has to be able to pay for all of them, with his own employment. So obviously this already makes most men unable to have more than one wife.
Another thing is this - in some societies the population of men is less than women. For example, after a war, there are many more women than men. Instead of making it impossible for the extra women to get married, God has given them a chance. And I am fairly confident that a woman who has no option for marriage other than polygamy would probably choose polygamy.
Another situation where polygamy would be seen as a blessing is one that I heard described to me. There was a couple in Egypt long ago, and the wife was infertile - she could not have children at all. A small percentage of women cannot have children. Imagine that feeling - you will not have children to love and keep you company. So anyways, her husband married another woman. It turns out that this newer wife went to work outside the home, and the first wife loved the children and was loved by the children, and the children were raised mainly by the first wife. So she was loved by the new kids and when they grew up they took care of her.
So there are situations where multiple wives is something decent and workable. Most men arecurrently interested in marrying one woman. Let's face it: it's not so easy and men often get cold feet about marrying one. Being fair is not that easy - and in the Quran, Allah says: ‘…if you fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one’.” Also, consent of the woman who is to be married must be obtained. Arranged marriages without the couples' consent are not allowed.
The West has long had a notion that real love has to be between only 2 people. They claim that it is impossible that a man can love two women equally. Firstly, love is complex and is not like powdered sugar that you can measure. Of course a man can love two women. Secondly, after the initial honeymoon period, the marriage is more about sharing work and managing a household. Marriage is a means of establishing a family, and helping individuals flourish in a safe environment. It needs everyone to contribute. If there are multiple wives, the children may very well become more well-grounded and educated children. There will be better supervision of them, and they will likely learn more from all the adults than from only one parent.
So people sometimes bring up the statement and question, "how about one woman marrying multiple men?" It's a logical outgrowth of the feminist platform - they claim equality should be allowed because a woman should get the same rights as a man.
There are issues with polyandry, however. The main reason can be summed up as this: women and men are different in some important ways. They are both accountable to God and intellectually equal, but they have differences. Women live longer than men, and women learn language earlier and faster than men. Men are physically stronger, and have better emotional control.
When it comes to multiple men with one woman, which is called polyandry, there are a number of issues that come up that make this arrangement problematic and unnatural.
First of all, there is the issue of who is the father whenever the woman becomes pregnant. Every time the woman has a child, they will have to do DNA testing to make sure. And this is undoubtedly an awkward situation.
Second issue is this - men are naturally more competitive and aggressive than women. How will the multiple men resolve disagreements among themselves? It is a simple fact that men are usually better suited for leadership, because of being both physically stronger and having more calmness during emergencies and tragedies. I am not saying this out of any kind of pride whatsoever, but when it comes to the relative strengths of men versus women, leadership and being emotionally controlled is more of a masculine trait than a feminine one. Women have their own strengths, too, such as communication and social tact to name a few.
So it would lead to very awkward situations among the men. Who will be the main breadwinner, for instance? When Adam goes shopping and Bob also goes shopping who will be expected to pay? In any organization, one leader is better than two. The old saying "a ship with two captains will sink" applies here.
Personally, I can say that I as a man would never at all even want another man to flirt with my wife. I could never imagine being in a polyandrous relationship.
Needless to say, it is prohibited in Islam for a wife to have multiple husbands. A reasonable woman would not want this anyway. Would she feel comfortable being a ruler of them, or witnessing conflicts over power among the other men? It is very likely also, that the woman would have a harder time treating the men equally than for a man to treat the women equally. Women statistically initiate more than 60% of divorces. This means something important - women are more likely to ask for a divorce than men. If women and men were equal, then shouldn't the divorce rates be 50%. The reason women initiate more divorces is psychological. Women are more emotional and more likely to choose exit as an option and "solution" than men. Perhaps in today's society the divorce laws which give women half of her husband's wealth(unless a prenup is arranged) is the reason. This is likely a big part of it. In any case, it is a statistic that shows that women and men are different.
It must be pointed out that a woman does deserve and need care more than a man. A woman in Islam has a right to be cared for financially. She does not need to work outside the home at all. In Islam, if a woman wanted, she could live her whole life in her parents home. She could theoretically devote her life to simply academic pursuits - just reading or just sewing. She must be taken care of, by a male relative. So if her father died, then her brother must step up. Thus, in Islam there is no single woman out on the streets who decides to sell her body because she claims she has no other option. In Islam, a woman's dignity is preserved.
It needs to be mentioned that all abuse is prohibited in Islam, such as "sadism." All abusive actions are sinful. If a man did have multiple wives, then first of all the rules of modesty always apply. The woman need to have their own privacy. Each woman must have her own room, then. Secondly, he is supposed to be fair to them.
Here's another reason polyandry is something to be avoided. If multiple men have relations with one woman, the chances of a STD spreading is there, even if all the men were virgins before. But if one virgin man marries four(the maximum number of wives) virgin woman, and they all stay clean, then sexually transmitted diseases will not arise.
There are women in this world who find polygamy perfectly normal and who are one of multiple wives. They are used to it and find some advantages to it too. Such as having the assistance of the elderly wife, whenever she needs help with something. Also, they may find more peace in their sisterly bond.
On the other hand, polyandry is reported to exist only as the form called "fraternal polyandry" where multiple brothers have one wife together. This is very rare. This is supposedly going on in Nepal, but otherwise it is extremely rare.
So the bottom line is the U.S. should allow polygamy. They cannot claim any moral ground when adultery is rampant, and politicians are coming out left and right with scandals. At least once every few months another politican is exposed to have a mistress. The law should allow polygamy under fair laws that require the man to be gainfully employed and have sufficient money to support the wives, and the wives have contractually agreed to the marriage.
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